University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

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Oluwapanda
Posts: 175
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:10 am

University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Oluwapanda » Wed Feb 06, 2019 7:23 pm

Please 9jaskulgist help me . I’m in a state of Dilemma. I’m loosing myself to craziness . I don’t know what to do .


There was this girl I liked a lot . We are final year students of the same department (theatre arts ) in a university ( name withheld for anonymity ). I met her in school and discovered we had a lot of things in common. As time went on, we fell for each other and eventually started dating from the second semester of our first year . We became the best lovers and friends anyone could wish for . We were inseparable and even through the trials and storms, everything was going smoothly .


Until our third year , first semester break to be precise. I decided to go on a tourism holiday to another state in the south-south (Name withheld ) . She initially refused but after much cajoling, she agreed to follow me on my mini-vacation.
We reached the place and had many tours . We enjoyed to our maximum satisfaction and it was like the best time of our lives till the night before we left the state . As we were coming back from a local carnival , we were intercepted by a band of robbers . Unknown to us, the bikeman was also part of the robbers . To sum it up, my phone and hers was stolen and she got rapped brutally by 3 men right before my eyes . At the end , we managed to find our way to the place where we lodged . I made some calls and we saw money to leave the star the next day.
The girl was traumatized and devastated . She has not even being herself and if not for the support and encouragement I gave to her , she would have committed suicide . 1 year since the event happened . She was now getting herself , coming out of her shells and all. But the problem is I’m tired of the relationship, I want out . It’s becoming unbecoming for me. It’s like I’m choking. I want space. In order not to hurt her , I had to stay clean and true to her , fend off advances from females and avoid doing things other guys my age or who had my looks would do. But I’m only human after all . I am human. And anytime we have a quarrel , she would start recalling how she got abused because of me and how she didn’t want to go and all and and then break down in tears . I would have no choice than to console her and all but am I supposed to spend my life with her now ? Wasn’t she a victim of circumstances ? Should that be enough reason to tie me to her ? Please help me !!
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Ykeys
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2018 8:04 pm

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Ykeys » Wed Feb 06, 2019 7:44 pm

If you have a valid reason to end a relationship of almost 4 years then sit her down and talk to her, make her understand, have that conversation with her when she's in a good mood. But I'd advise you realize why you feel you're tired if the relationship and try work things out. A relationship this long shouldn't end cause of a reason like this. Think about it Bruv

Oluwapanda
Posts: 175
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:10 am

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Oluwapanda » Wed Feb 06, 2019 7:49 pm

In a way I can relate to how the girl would be doing in the situation. Maybe he wanted to do things like that’s but the girl would always bring up those past issues . It’s so painful

Yo Queen
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:18 pm

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Yo Queen » Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:23 pm

I think its bad of her to the that to the boy.
She should forgive him, forgive herself and heal
Its insecurities working her up

Also the boy should fight for the relationship, try taking her on a date, tell her her short comings, rekindle old flames. Even true love requires energy, time and patience.

YOMSDIRECT
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:15 pm

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by YOMSDIRECT » Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:31 pm

Be there for her bro, do you know what will happen if you leave her? She might never forgive you if u leave considering it because of you she took that risk. God save us all from rapist

ibrahim
Posts: 181
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2018 10:24 am

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by ibrahim » Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:42 pm

Wow... Dis is a really serious one

Emmyeddy
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2019 3:11 pm

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Emmyeddy » Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:54 pm

Well I think you should be honest with her, let her off as nicely as possible, give her enough reasons why you want out of the relationship, try to make her understand that it wasn't really your fault that what happened happened. Just go really easy on her. And you could also remain with her try to fall in love with her over again. Some people might not understand so she might never forgive you.

Oluwapanda
Posts: 175
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:10 am

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Oluwapanda » Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:12 pm

Yo Queen wrote:
Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:23 pm
I think its bad of her to the that to the boy.
She should forgive him, forgive herself and heal
Its insecurities working her up

Also the boy should fight for the relationship, try taking her on a date, tell her her short comings, rekindle old flames. Even true love requires energy, time and patience.
The guy does not want to stay in the relationship again nah.

Oluwapanda
Posts: 175
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2018 11:10 am

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Oluwapanda » Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:15 pm

YOMSDIRECT wrote:
Wed Feb 06, 2019 8:31 pm
Be there for her bro, do you know what will happen if you leave her? She might never forgive you if u leave considering it because of you she took that risk. God save us all from rapist
Rapist should be mauled to death really

Joseph
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Dec 16, 2018 11:16 am

Re: University Student Cries out , asks For Advice from fellow student students

Post by Joseph » Wed Feb 06, 2019 9:19 pm

I will advise u stay dere for her dude

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